Your Value and Appreciation is Up to You as a People Pleaser

Your Value and Appreciation is Up to You as a People Pleaser

Your Value and Appreciation

Your value and appreciation are defined and determined by you… so it is up to you. Once you are clear about your value and appreciation, then people who align with your clarity will come into your life.

I want you to know that…

You are an amazing person.

You see… 

I don’t think you or I hear that enough.

I want you to know you are incredible.

Every thought, feeling, emotion, action… you are incredible.

I know you are doing and being your best… even when you don’t think or feel as though you are.

Which brings me to appreciation and what it feels like…

Did you know that Appreciation is a higher vibration and frequency than Gratitude.  Sure, to start appreciating, we express thankfulness and have an attitude of gratitude.

But, did you know that when you look at something (or someone) and appreciate it… that is about your value and the value you place on that item or person?

You see… valuing something equates to appreciating it.

And… when you value something or someone, you appreciate it.

Then… when you appreciate it… it appreciates.  It increases in value.

In other words, when you appreciate the value of people and things in your life, including your money, it appreciates.  It builds in value.  And then… rather miraculously, more comes your way.

Play with appreciation today.  Feel the feels of appreciating something or someone, highly valuing it and them.

And, most importantly…

Appreciate yourself, value yourself… highly.  No one or thing can be higher in value than yourself.

Here is my appreciation of and for you:

  • I appreciate all of you… who you are
  • I appreciate you being here… now… and our connection
  • I appreciate your life, heart, body, mind, and soul
  • I appreciate all the blessings that are on the way to you and your loved ones
  • I appreciate everyone who has been kind to you in your life, past, and present
  • I appreciate all those who have appreciated you… and truly loved you
  • I appreciate you honoring yourself
  • I appreciate you respecting yourself
  • I appreciate all who have wronged you in some way… so that you could learn what feels good and does not feel good… so that you could make feel-good choices going forward
  • I appreciate the power you have to choose… what feels good

I appreciate you… on this Thanksgiving Day and beyond.

May you have fun, feel free, be empowered, thrive, and be loved today and on all days.

From my heart to yours,
Dr. Dar

The way I keep my Appreciation Vibe high every day is by using The Feel Good Superpower Cards.  I will send you my feel-good superpower guide that explains how and why people behave the way they do, why things get difficult, and what to do about it as a gift with your purchase of the Feel Good Energy Cards.  

Ps.  the cards are infused with an appreciation of you.

The Secret to Removing Tear Stains On Dogs Face Naturally

The Secret to Removing Tear Stains On Dogs Face Naturally

Remove the Red Tear Stains on Dogs
Face Naturally Without Extra Products or Medication

My first dog companion was a Maltese.  He was my companion when I got started with my career and into the start of my marriage. 

I remember him fondly and often.  He traveled with me for three years when I was working up and down the eastern coast of the US.  He was allowed in the office space and would go and visit everyone who would welcome him. 

He would sit at the table where I was working and be right next to me, always.   

And… I struggled constantly to keep the hair around his eyes and mouth white. He would get these red tear stains on his adorable dog face and those same stains would be on all the hair around his mouth.  

I tried different foods, spray-on products, liquid borax (ugh), angel eyes, brewer’s yeast, medications, and other products that are touted online…

None of them worked.

And… I am still sad about finding out how some of those products were not healthy for my pup. 

Sadly, my maltese passed after 16 lovely years of companionship.

Then, many years later, and after my first havanese passed over the Rainbow Bridge, I got another white pup… a havanese this time. 

My dogs are family members… they are my joy all day long. 

They represent what Love is and is not. 

I think we, humans, can learn a great deal from them about Love.

Here is a before picture of my white havanese dog from March of 2019
with Red Tear Stains on dogs face, his face and around his eyes.
As you can see, they are dark and all over his face.

Tear Stains on Dogs

Of course, I felt as though keeping his hair white was vain, and shameful.  But I also wondered if it was caused by something that was contributing to his allergies, or days when he was not as spry and active. 

I asked many veterinarians what to do.  I searched online for solutions.

I tried this product and that product.  I even tried a dilution of borax with water, which came highly recommended.

Oh my gosh, I thought, as my heart sank… am I poisoning my beloved four legged companion?

I kept my quest for a solution active – continuing my ongoing research and determined it could only be something that my dog was exposed to every day. Something that was in his food or in his water. 

Here is an after picture of my white dog from July 2020 with
NO Red Tear Stains on dogs face, his face, and around his eyes. 

Red Tear Stains Gone from White Dog's Hair

The issue that is causing the red staining is a mineral or ingredient in the water we give them to drink.  It is an internal and external issue.  The water causes staining on the hair around their faces, and the staining from their tears is internal from drinking the water.

So, what is a pup parent to do?

Change the Water.

And I don’t mean refresh the bowl more often with fresh water.

I mean distilled water.

I started with bottled distilled water for a couple of months.  But then, started becoming aware of plastic leaching and did not want to affect my beloved pet with plastics if possible.

So, I invested in a water distiller.

And, when I noticed the difference in the health of my two dogs, I switched to drinking it too.

Here are the products I used to achieve these results.  My pup feels better and is doing well.

If this is something you decide to try for your dear four-legged, please let me know.

Scroll down and leave me a comment.  Let me know how you and your dog are doing.  Share a picture or two.

And, if you feel inspired, take the Feel Good Energy/Superpower Quiz while you are here.

psst:  I wish more people knew about this simple solution. 
Please share this page with them too.

Narcissists and Empaths – Stuck in a Never-Ending Magnetic Cord Attaching Toxic Dance?

Narcissists and Empaths – Stuck in a Never-Ending Magnetic Cord Attaching Toxic Dance?

Narcissists and Empaths

Stuck in a Never-Ending Magnetic Cord Attaching Toxic Dance

Narcissists and empaths
This morning, as I lay in between deep sleep and lucidity, the Voice of my Higher Self said ‘write about the toxic dance and seemingly never-ending cord of attachment between narcissists and empaths… share your perspective about it… and about The Universal Law of Duality, Polarity, and Consequence – because there is much misunderstanding and misinformation being provided to empaths for their process of being healed.’

So, here I have been sitting… since 6:30 a.m. off and on… waiting patiently for the words to fall onto this screen that you are on now.  For that I am grateful!

Let’s start with the characteristics of narcissism [Adapted from Source]:

Narcissists consistently crave attention and praise and are extremely needy and demanding. They have unrealistic, often misguided, grand views of themselves, their lives, and their futures.

They are manipulative, condescending, and argumentative, all to get what they want. They are intensely controlling, dominating, and can be jealous to an extreme. They can be shy and prey on your empathy, giving, and caring or they can be dominating and assertive.

Often, they are immensely charismatic – their charm lures us into their lair.  They don’t show their tendencies until we have become enamored by them… and then… they emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abuse those around them for self-gain.  

They are known to call you selfish and blame you for anything and everything that does not align with their ideal and grand desires… which can change in an instant. Or they manipulate through using guilt, shame, and embarrassment against you.

They demand respect and loyalty… but do not do what it takes to earn it much less retain it.

Their vanity and self-adoration of their beauty draws us in as well.  The world in their head does not match up to your reality, but you can never convince them of it.

And, we are constantly puzzled at how much they exaggerate their accomplishments… make them up… and even lie about them.  When questioned, they masterfully turn it to the other person being the issue or problem.  They think and believe they are the most important thing on the planet.

When challenged or questioned, they criticize, blame, get angry, deny and lie even more… they believe their lies to be truth… and the person on the receiving end, starts to doubt themselves… regardless of how obvious the lie is or how much the truth is in crystal clear beyond any shadow of doubt.

In short, they are users, abusers, takers, manipulators, and handlers. Their lies are truth to them, and their ideas about themselves and the world they live in are far from reality and what’s happening in reality.

The thing is… we have enabled them to become larger than life monsters. 


Click the play button to listen to the podcast. 

Be sure to scroll down this page so you don’t miss the video and free offers.

Listen to “Ep.20 Understanding the Attraction Between Narcissists and Empaths” on Spreaker.

But why are empaths so deliciously and irresistibly attracted to them? 

They exude ultra-confidence, never doubt themselves, and portray themselves as perfection and the best at everything. 

They are everything we, as empaths, are not.

But, they portray themselves, energetically, and initially as higher self versions of ourselves.  We just don’t see through the illusion they exude until we are head deep into their web of deceit.

Empaths, doubt themselves, sabotage themselves, question their confidence and abilities, and seek higher learning.  I say that empaths practice humility which is why we do those things. Because we look within as we observe others and our world, and process the energy… we take it on as though it is our weight to bear.  We as empaths, secretly or openly, want to transform the world and our world around us.  It is too much weight to bear, so we take in all that heavy energy.

But it does not have to be that way! 

Celebrating Hippo Symbolism - Dr. Dar Hawks

 Why These 4 Universal Laws Matter

  1. The Law of Divine Oneness Everything is connected to everything else.  Consequently, empaths falsely feel that they attracted the narcissist for a cosmic reason, to make a difference, and to maybe even cause transformation and change. Empaths come to believe that this love is so deep that it cannot be anything else but love.  However, it is energetic discord designed to help us find the oneness within, the love within, the honor within, the respect within. 
  2. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy – Every person has the capacity within them to change the conditions of their lives. Higher vibrations consume and transform lower onesWe find ourselves believing with incredulous conviction that we can change the condition of our lives by staying in this relationship.  Until one day, we find ourselves so utterly diminished that we are faced with choosing our life or our death, literally or figuratively. 
  3. The Law of Polarity – Everything is on a continuum and has an opposite. In our lopsided world of programming and conditioning, we, as women, have been taught to think that opposites attract, that we are the issue, that we are the ones that need fixing, and we’ve been indoctrinated into a world of problems that are always in need of solving.  People cannot be solved, and people are not problems.  I think that polarity, or duality, exists for us to discern what does and does not feel good… so that we can become adept at choosing what feels good. 
  4. The Law of Gender – Everything in nature is both masculine and feminine. Both are required for life to exist. Without the harmonic balance of both, there would no movement, motion, or creation.  Masculine energy is thought, feminine energy is the life force that brings the thought into form in physical reality. Together they form the creative process. Imbalances of these two energies can create a false sense of lack, hence attracting the opposite into our lives. 
  5. The Law of Conservation of Energy – Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another.  Remember, energy just is, and it can be transformed or moved.  Which is why those of us who identify with being empaths, highly emotional or sensitive, believe we are here to save others and the world.  We are here to cause transformation, to be healers, and to be healed.  However, we are not here to take on the world.  There is a subtle difference.

You see, we are not here to heal them or the world.  We are simply here to heal ourselves, shed whatever we’ve been told is true about having empathic abilities, and feel good about ourselves.  When we feel good about ourselves, our lives, work, and relationships, nothing can diminish our energy to being small and insignificant.

Once we get that we are not here to heal each other, or heal them… we find ourselves free from the toxic bondage.  You see, we can only heal ourselves and our own energies.  And through doing that, we cause transformation and healing in others, energetically. 

Not the other way around. 

Here are some other repetitive behaviors to look out for as big, loud, honking, red flags:

1. Conversation Hoarder – it is always all about them.
2. Chronic Conversation Interrupter – to make everything about them.
3. Rule Ignorer – does not think any rule applies to them.
4. Boundary Dismiss-er – does not see, consider, or even care about other people’s thoughts,
    feelings, physical space, or belongings… because it is all about them.
5. Prey on activating negativity – they love negativity because it makes them feel good and you
    feel bad.

I don’t prescribe to what empaths have been taught about being sponges, being stuck in unhealthy relationships, or needing crutches to just survive an hour in this world. Those models make us think that it is ultra hard to live our lives as empaths, emotionally astute, or highly sensitive beings.  They are based on the problem looking for a solution model.  I believe that empaths are not problems to be solved.  And I see human beings as energy beings. 

Because we are energy beings, we can discern what energy to take in and what not to take in.  We are not victims of energy coming in and out.  We are choosers.  But it requires understanding our energetic map, our own road map to our own unique energy. 

When you know what how that energy works in your body, then you can connect with it.  You will stop being the attraction magnet for gaslighting narcissistic behaviors in others.

Notice where in your life and relationships you are being downtrodden, or highly emotional or sensitive.  Notice what you are taking on.  Are you choosing it consciously?  Or have you just taken on the bad behaviors in others as an energy because energetically, you know you are  here to transform the energy?

I invite you to learn about your unique body energy map so that you can begin to manage, leverage, honor, and respect your energy… and know when energy is not yours, if it feels good, and if it does not… by honoring the wisdom of your body’s energy map. To learn more about Your Body Energy Map click the button now. 

A woman searching for change

A woman searching for change

I had been searching too until…

I was searching too - changed woman

“A woman searching for change” → “A changed woman”

I was there.

A woman searching for change, so I understand what it means to be in your shoes.

Why is the process of feeling good every day so hard?

And remember the part about creating a new definition…a new narrative?

From all that time on “life’s treadmill” trying to come up with a new approach to change. To feel good every day…in a way that’s easy and works with you, not against you.

And declaring…

“I’m ready for a life that honors my energy and uniqueness.”

A life in flow.

A life where you know what days to take big action and what days that you let the world bustle around your while you happily rest (without guilt or shame that you’re taking your 3rd nap of the day.)

I get it because I was there too. 


…in my quest to feel good in my body and mind I knew that I had to do things differently (after 2 near-deaths, years of feeling underappreciated for my talents at work and being highly sensitive to energy in my daily life.)

It was when I realized I could manage my wellness by tracking my energy and by understanding the environmental influences in my life.

Here’s the thing…

…it’s just as easy for you.

When you follow the patterns…the ebbs and flows…you no longer choose the power of the push and pull in your life and work. (Your body and mind can’t sustain that anyway.)

It’s the gift of the Superpower Formula.

A superpower is YOU when you’re in flow, feel great about yourself, your life, and your relationships.

It emanates from deep within your soul naturally.

We all have 5 superpowers within us: fun, freedom, love & belonging, power, and survival.

Understanding your superpower is just the beginning of becoming “A changed woman.”

(I have a quiz you can take if you want to get started now → CLICK HERE)

Once you see how to track this for yourself…You’re on your way.

Keep your eyes out…in the next article, we’ll tap into emotions and feelings to manifest and receive.

From my heart to yours,
Dr. Dar    “A woman searching for change” → “A changed woman”

P.S. Just imagine what it will feel like to know the difference between emotion and feeling so your harmonious flow isn’t disrupted! 

Can you change your life, really?  Can we get real about this?

Can you change your life, really? Can we get real about this?

Can we finally get real about this?

Can you really “change” your life?

can you change your life - seal - drdarhawks


This may not be a “how to win friends” thought, but it has to be said.

The reason you’re still not seeing those changes you want in your life is because…well…

…you’re still trying to make changes the way other people do.

Think about it for a minute:

If you’re still googling the same old things like “how to be happy” or “how to change my life” and desperately pleading to the google gods to show you different answers than the ones you’ve spent hours reading (because you’ve tried it already and it hasn’t worked for you)…

…then maybe it’s time for a new definition.

One that doesn’t induce those “eye-rolling” reactions every time your well-meaning BFF, partner, or even parent, has the audacity to ask you how “things” are going.

(My life feels like I’m going through the same motions and not going anywhere…it’s like groundhog day…every…single…day. How do you think it’s going?!)

So if this whole change your life for the better thing is just an endless practice of stress, self-doubt, and cartons of Ben & Jerry’s hoping it makes you feel good…

…why wouldn’t you be open to changing the narrative?

…one that empowers you to feel good on a deeper more sustainable level?

…one that doesn’t force you into a phony “everything is fine” smile every time someone questions your actions?

…one that actually gives you a taste of this whole “life is good” thing every guru with an Instagram account has been going nuts over for the last decade?

The truth is…

There are bunches of women just like you who live this reality each and every day.

But they didn’t get there by giving in to the here-today-gone-tomorrow mindset fads or trying to see the answers at the bottom of an ice-cream container.

They got there by FIRST declaring themselves “ready for a life that honors their energy and uniqueness.”

…and then learning practical life and mindset shifts that open the gates to a deeper level of abundance and happiness.

They didn’t rely on affirmations or mantras.

But the simple energetic, principles and strategies that changed the way they thought about themselves, their life, and what matters most.

“A woman searching for change” → “A changed woman”

That’s a topic for my next article.

This antiquated perception that you need to “be what others want you to be”  in order to have a fulfilled life.

Stay tuned for another article this week that will show you a more reflective framework for making and sustaining lasting change in your life.

Till then…

Being honest from my heart to yours,
Dr. Dar

P.S. I actually didn’t work hard to change my life. Instead, I gifted myself with the Superpower Formula that lovingly allowed me to bring purpose, joy, ease, flow, and inner and outer love to my being.

Take the Feel Good Superpower Quiz