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Doing something for your spouse… that you hate… doing?

06/06/2022

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Dr. Dar Hawks

Have you ever tried to do something you’re not joyful about with your spouse or partner?

Farrah would dutifully go golfing ⛳with her partner every weekend and to the driving range a couple of times a week.

She… hated… it. But it made her partner so happy… so…

She… went with him…🏌 for fifteen years… twice a week… every weekend… for 15 years… let that sink in.

She could not believe that her partner had no clue that she hated it so much…

Lately, she would come up with all kinds of excuses to… not… go…

Still, he had no clue.

She did not want to hurt his feelings… and was concerned about telling him… and just did not have the words.

Because she had faked it… for 15 years.

She asked me if she was wrong to hate something he loved so much.

She wanted to know if she was a terrible person for faking it… for… so… long.

Her fear of what he would do… if he knew… she lied👺… she faked it… was keeping her from being honest.

The day she contacted me, she was watching the clock… dreading 4:00 pm’s arrival when she would have to put her golfing attire and fake happy on. She… was… frozen… and just…could…not… do… it… again.

How😶 do I tell him? What do I say? How can I break his heart 💔in this way?

We, together, found her courage… and the best words… the best timing… and best way for her to tell him… the Truth.

And, together, we dealt with his reaction…. which was not great… at first… he was losing his golfing buddy.

We had to find something else for them to do together… she decided she would take a year break from golfing, they both agreed that it was fine for him to keep going but to scale it back to every other weekend, and only once a week so they would have time to do other things together. She would go with him for fun, not for competition or high intense play… once a quarter.

She is happy again… he is happy that she is happy!

Let me know if I can help you with a relationship issue that’s getting under your skin. I’m here for you.

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