I want to get married, what do I need to do?



Dr. Dar Hawks

I want to get married.

Whoa.  This is like putting the steam engine behind all the carriages; pushing the carriages instead of pulling them.  Sound familiar?  Those of you who deeply desire marriage must take inventory; here are a few questions to get you provoked:

  1. Are you really ready for marriage?  What makes you think you are?  Have you had an assessment with a Relationship Expert who can help you be fully ready?
  2. Have you been formally educated on how to create a sustainable marriage or did you learn the normal way, through parents, role models, television, etc.?  If not, you should do so now.
  3. Are you clear about your expectations, needs, and wants?
  4. Are you in a relationship now that matches all your requirements? Do you know what your requirements are, clearly?  If not, you need to do some work to identify what they are…hire an expert to help you do this quickly and effectively.
  5. What if you get married and one of your requirements is broken/changes as a normal course of life?  What happens then?  For example:  if your requirement is that your partner works full time to provide at least 75% financial security and they lose their job and cannot find a new one, and you are married when this happens…what will you do?
  6. Are you wanting to get married to escape something else?
  7. Do you want your marriage to last more than 3 years?  Did you know on average most marriages end by or before the 3 year mark?
  8. What is your relationship like with your partner’s family and friends?  Or what do you want it to  look like?
  9. Do you know how finances will be managed, maintained, grown, discussed, etc. in your relationship?  How frequently?
  10. Do you know the purpose of your relationship/marriage?  How about your vision statement?  How about your core values?

If you are dissatisfied with any of your answers or had to put some significant thought into these questions, then you have some preparation to do before jumping into a marriage.  I am here to educate you and get you ready quicker than you can the traditional way through experience.

Visit us again, we are in the process of developing a Relationship Readiness Quiz that you can take online for free…so check to see if it is posted!

  • Relationship advice: 5 fights marriages shouldn’t break up over (but do) (counselingonlinesite.com)
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