Are You Marriage Material?



Dr. Dar

Marriage Material

There is no such thing, right?


Here is a top ten list to consider whether you are marriage material or not:

  1. You are secure in who you are.  You know who you are, you know what your requirements, needs, and wants are.  You can be yourself fully.  Example: You are clear about what chores you expect to be done for you versus those you expect to do yourself.  And you communicate these expectations clearly and get support and buy-in.
  2. You know how to communicate.  You have learned and invested in communicating with loved ones, especially when emotions are heated or the topic is scary for you.  You know how to listen, hear, understand, speak, share openly, and create common ground in the midst of disagreement to move things forward. You respond more than react to others.
  3. You are clear about how you manage money and finances such that you are open to share with a potential partner.
  4. You do not play games with yourself and others.  Example:  you don’t slam doors to get attention or give the silent treatment to make  point, or don’t call until he/she calls you first, etc.
  5. You are clear about your career and goals for the next 5 to 10 years and can clearly communicate them.
  6. You do not have a need for others to agree with you, especially with heated topics/opinions like religion and politics, etc.  You accept the differences you may have with others and have peace in knowing this is a gift.
  7. You know that relationships must be nurtured and planned throughout your life.  You know this requires communication skills, connection, respect, and love.  You know that you must create structure in your relationship for frequent money conversations, family planning, social planning, relationship planning.  Did I mention the word planning enough…I don’t think so…planning and communications – critical for relationship success.
  8. You trust yourself to make the right choices going forward.  You honor when you are not feeling grounded and respond accordingly to return to your center.
  9. You are complete with you parents.
  10. You know what you want…oh, this is a repeat of #1…it must be important!
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