The Pros of Working with a Relationship Coach



Dr. Dar Hawks

Top 10 Guidelines of Relationship Coaching as defined by the Relationship Coaching Institute

  1. Relationship Coaching is not consulting or therapy.
    Coaching empowers by assuming you are the expert, fully capable of achieving your goals, and focuses on supporting you into action. Consulting typically provides advice and solutions, while therapy typically focuses on insight and emotional issues.
  2. Relationship Coaching helps you focus on the bigger picture.
    Relationship coaching is not effective when your relationship goals are isolated from the rest of your life, such as work, family, friends, wellness, spirituality, etc.
  3. A Relationship Coach shares relationship knowledge, experience, and information without attachment.
    Sharing expertise with you as your coach is very different from any other helping relationship. It is necessary to address your relationship skills and knowledge deficits, however we do so in a way that supports you to discover and own your truth.
  4. A Relationship Coach assumes a relationship is part of the journey, not the destination.
    We support you to focus on meaning, connection, and long-term goals, in addition to helping you find a partner or improve your  existing relationships.
  5. A Relationship Coach assumes that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
    Your relationships are your mirrors. The Law Of Attraction dictates that what is inside shows up on the outside. We help our clients take responsibility for your relationship outcomes and be the partner you  want to have.
  6. A Relationship Coach does not judge a relationship as right or wrong, good or bad.
    As stated above, we assume you are the expert and honor your truth and agenda. While we have judgments, we do not impose them on you. We lead our clients through a process of discovery in which you are empowered to make the relationship choices that are right for you.
  7. A Relationship Coach does not seek to get personal needs met with clients or prospective clients.
    An ethical coach values being of service above all else, holds the coaching relationship sacred, and does not allow a personal agenda to interfere with doing so.
  8. A Relationship Coach addresses your sabotaging attitudes and choices without making you wrong.
    We skillfully help you become aware of the connection between your attitudes (beliefs, interpretations, etc.), choices and consequences, and support  you to make your own judgments and decisions about them in light of your Vision, Purpose, Requirements, Needs, and Goals.
  9. A Relationship Coach is neutral about the outcome for pre-committed relationships, and an advocate for committed relationships.
    We value using the opportunity while single to make conscious long-term relationship choices, and believe in the power and necessity of commitment to make those choices work and be fulfilling.
  10. A Relationship Coach “walks the talk” by continually addressing their own personal and relationship development, challenges, and goals.
    We know that we can only help you along paths that we have traveled ourselves, and no further, so we must continually strive to be conscious and intentional in our lives and relationships. This includes furthering our own learning and development by working with a coach or mentor, on-going training, and other means.
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